Dear Ana,
I used to work with a single mom who was a very bad employee. She came back late from breaks, and did absolutely as little as she could possibly get away with. She came into my new job yesterday and asked me if they were hiring.
I could get her a job here easily because we are looking and employee suggestions get a first chance, but I don’t want to put my reputation here on the line by supporting a terrible worker.
But, she has a kid, so I feel kind of guilty about that. Should I just risk it?
Job on the Line
Dear Job,
You don’t have any obligation to this woman, and if your reputation or anything about your job is at stake, don’t put a word in for her.
That said, however, don’t bash her to your employer. Tell him or her the truth if they ask, but otherwise don’t mention it. If she’s hired, she’s hired, but if not then she isn’t and it’s no skin off of your back.
She may have a child, but that means she needs to be all the more mature to actually hold a job to take care of that child. Also, it is very likely that she’ll be able to find work elsewhere. Don’t think her livelihood is based only on getting hired at your job.
Dear Ana,
Is mayonnaise a musical instrument?
I Appreciate SpongeBob References
Dear References,
No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.
Dear Ana,
My friend recently gave birth and the baby daddy is disputing the paternity. She used to be the quiet nerdy type, but since high school has become the loud duck-faced internet-speaking complainer with awful grammar everyone typically ignores or blocks on Facebook.
She had an argument with the baby daddy by private message and then posted every single one of their messages on Facebook for everyone to see. They were very intimate and offensive and I’m a horrible person to say this, but very hilarious. I couldn’t stop reading and laughing at it because it was so ridiculous.
Anyway, I don’t know if I should tell her that it is not very smart to be broadcasting her dirty laundry on the internet. Maybe she needs this wisdom, or maybe she’ll get mad at me for telling her what to do.
That Facebook Friend
Dear Friend,
Given your description of this girl, I’ve got to ask the obvious question – why are you still her friend? People like this tend to find advice very hostile and she will probably not take it very well if you critique her choice in what she posts online. But don’t laugh at what she’s going through and don’t use her posts for entertainment. That makes you a total jerk.
Simply de-friend her online. As much as you wish to, you have no right to tell her what she shouldn’t post. You definitely don’t have the right to make fun of her either – the only acceptable thing you can possibly make fun of her for is making a duck face because that is just hilariously bad.
Dear Ana,
Everyone loves pumpkin smelling and tasting stuff this time of year, but I hate it. I know that it is a marketing ploy by evil pumpkin farmers because pumpkins are gross and useless and this is the only way they can make money, by making people think that it is good in lattes, cakes, and candles.
Why are people such pathetic sheep who follow this trend?
Hater
Dear Hater,
Next you’re going to tell me that The Great Pumpkin isn’t real. Such sacrilege! You are an awful person because pumpkins are absolutely delightful.
People go crazy over pumpkin everything during this season because it is the only time of year that they can indulge in it. Pumpkin spice lattes are a blessing, not a curse. Freshly roasted and salted pumpkin seeds taken directly from a future jack o’ lantern to the oven create a smell from my childhood memories that I will never forget. You not liking pumpkins makes me certain that you must have never had a childhood.
