Dear Ana,
So I have anger issues, and while I’ve been learning to control the things in my life, sometimes I get really bad fits of rage. This normally happens when I try to be nice and combat the anger inside of me. If the person is nice about it, the anger starts to go away, but if people try to combat or not understand, it pushes me.
I don’t hit when I rage, but I do say some hurtful things.
I do apologize, but Ana how can I: A) Show them I’m really sorry and, most importantly, B) Try to control myself?
I’ve tried help in the past and I’m starting to think I’m a naturally angry person.
Anger Issues
Dear Anger,
If you honestly explain yourself, then an apology will be appropriate for most situations, especially if you can’t stop yourself from saying something. If a person responds defensively to your words, try to work it out with calm words and no yelling on your part.
But for the second part, have you ever considered going through an anger management course? I’m no expert on the subject, but this is a common issue and there are many courses out there if you look, as well as books about the subject that can provide you with tips on how to vent rage and express yourself in a less offensive way.
It will take time and practice, but if you are really sure that you want to change, then you will definitely be able to find a method or methods that will help train you to control your anger.
Dear Ana,
I just cleaned my room for the first time in months, and I’m having a hard time getting used to not having a bunch of junk on my floor. Any suggestions?
In Shock
Dear In Shock,
Someone on my Facebook page (which all of my readers should add – facebook.com/askanagraham) suggested that you roll around on the floor and relish in the new-found space you have.
I absolutely agree with this suggestion! Enjoy the clean floor while it is still clean.
If you can’t get used to the clean floor, just start using it. Use it for art activities or games, or as a closet or dresser – the possibilities are endless!
After you use it, the floor will quickly become cluttered again and then you will no longer have this problem.
Dear Ana,
What is the best way to stop being lazy? It’s so fun and easy to be lazy, but I want to stop. What should I do?
Bum
Dear Bum,
I’ve given many suggestions in the past to people who were seeking cures to their laziness or procrastination, and I’m sick of giving said suggestions again. As such, I’ll be suggesting something a little different to you: learn from your own experiences, and maybe others.
Why don’t you just try to see what happens after a whole semester of being lazy? Don’t go to class, and enjoy all of your new-found free time.
Then, when you earn yourself that special gift of academic probation, I’m sure this will provide incentive for you to not be lazy again.
You can do this in all aspects of life – with your job, your relationships, etc. When you lose these things, then you’ll learn! Hopefully. Or else you’ll fall into a never-ending cycle and end up living on the streets trying to survive by offering to work for food. This means, in the end, that you’re going to have to work anyways.
